Memory

I'm at work and a reminder pops up from outlook: George Music Kindy. I realise that Jason went straight to the shop after dropping Olivia off at kindy this morning and he forgot about George's music kindy class, a 45 minute class in Booragoon that starts at 9.30am. I had also forgotten, it didn't click when he sent me a text after dropping Olivia off at school asking if I wanted anything at the shop. But I reminded him about it once yesterday. Once on Sunday, and probably a few times before that. He thought the class was yesterday morning but when he found out it was the next day, it went out of his head. He has a terrible memory.

It makes me think of this article I read a few weeks ago:

"We remember children’s allergies, we design the shopping list, we know where the spare set of keys is. We multi-task. We know when we’re almost out of Q-tips, and plan on buying more. We are just better at remembering birthdays. We love catering to loved ones, and we make note of what they like to eat. We notice people’s health, and force friends and family to go see the doctor.

We listen to our partner’s woes, forgive them the absences, the forgetfulness, the one-track mindedness while we’re busy organizing a playdate for the kids. We applaud success when it comes: the grant that was received, the promotion. It was their doing, and ours in the background. Besides, if we work hard enough, we can succeed too: all we need to do is learn to lean in.

But what if, much like childcare and house keeping, the sum of this ongoing emotional management is yet another form of unpaid labor?"

My memory is almost as bad as Jason's these days, but if I am capable of setting reminders in my phone, isn't he? Is it my job to remind him about every single thing ever all the time, over and over so that he does them? 

I guess I'm most annoyed because I know he doesn't want to go to music kindy with George. He hated taking Olivia and would come up with any excuse to get out of it. I purposely booked George's class on a Tuesday so Jason wouldn't have to go but now I'm working Tuesdays for a couple of weeks to make up for lost days in advance when he is on a course in a couple of weeks. His response to missing music kindy was "yessss!" which I didn't appreciate. I understand why he doesn't like it. You have to dance around and show your kid what they should be doing. You have to sing. He doesn't like doing any of that in front of other people. 

Apart from his memory, he is wonderful. He cooks, cleans and parents without complaint. Maybe that is that just giving him credit for the same stuff that I do.  But he encourages me to do anything that makes me happy and he makes life easy. So I will keep trying to remember everything for both of us.